1)STEPS TO AVOID SECLUSION

(a)(Rav Yehudah citing Rav): A woman may be with two men only in the city. On the road, three are needed, so when one needs to urinate, she will not be secluded with one man.

(b)Support (Mishnah): We send two Chachamim with a man taking a Sotah (his wife) to Yerushalayim to make her drink, lest he have Bi'ah with her on the way.

1.We need a total of three men!

(c)Rejection: We need two Chachamim so they can testify (if he has Bi'ah with her, that she may not drink. Perhaps normally, two men may be with a woman on the road).

(d)Rav and Rav Yehudah were on the road. A woman was in front of them. Rav urged that they go in front of her.

1.Rav Yehudah: You permit two proper men to be with a woman!

2.Rav: Who says that we are proper? Perhaps only people like R. Chanina bar Papi are permitted!

(e)(Rav): We lash a man and woman who are secluded, but we do not forbid a woman (Rashi - to he husband; Tosfos - to Kehunah) due to seclusion.

(f)(Rav Ashi): We only lash a single girl that was secluded, but not a married woman, lest people say that her children are Mamzerim.

(g)Mar Zutra would lash (married women) and announce that this was only for seclusion, not for Bi'ah.

1.Rav Nachman of Parhetya (to Rav Ashi): You should do the same!

2.Rav Ashi: Perhaps someone will hear about the lashes, but not the announcement.

(h)(Rav): We lash someone about whom there are constant rumors of immorality - "cease my sons, for there are bad reports."

(i)Mar Zutra would put a bridle on the shoulder of the people he whipped, and read that verse.

(j)(Rabah): If a woman's husband is in town, there is no problem of seclusion with her.

(k)(Rav Yosef): If there is an opening to Reshus ha'Rabim, there is no problem of seclusion.

(l)Rav Bivi visited Rav Yosef. (He was in the second story, and Rav Yosef and Rav Yosef's wife were below.) Rav Yosef asked that they remove the ladder (lest Rav Bivi he be able to descend and be secluded with Rav Yosef's wife.)

(m)Question: Rabah taught that if a woman's husband is in town, there is no Isur of seclusion!

(n)Answer: Rav Bivi was close with Rav Yosef's wife, so Rabah's law did not apply.

(o)(Rav Kahana): If men are in an outer room, and women are in an inner room, we are not concerned for seclusion (a man would not enter the women's room);

1.If men are in an inner room, and women are in an outer room, we are concerned (perhaps a man will enter the women's room).

(p)Question: A Beraisa teaches just the opposite! (When women are inside, perhaps a man will enter, and not fear lest another man enter!

(q)Abaye: Out of doubt, we must be stringent and forbid both.

(r)At gatherings (e.g. a Derashah or Chupah,) Abaye would make a wall of flasks (between the men and women). Rava would make a wall of reeds. (Both of these discouraged any man from going to the women, for he would be heard.)

(s)The worst time of year is the festivals. (Men and women are secluded, and this results in sin.)

2)EVEN GREAT TZADIKIM MUST BE CONCERNED

(a)Some captive women were redeemed and brought to Neharda'a. They were kept in the attic of Rav Amram the Chasid; the ladder was removed.

(b)A beam of light reflected from one of the women. Rav Amram was seized with lust. He moved the ladder to ascend (normally, 10 people are needed to move it). As he was halfway up, he screamed 'there is a fire in Rav Amram's house!' Rabanan flocked to his house.

1.Rabanan: You embarrassed us!

2.Rav Amram: It is better to suffer embarrassment in this world than in the next.

(c)Rav Amram put an oath on his Yetzer Ra, and forced it to leave him. A pillar of fire left him.

(d)R. Meir used to scorn sinners. One day, the Satan appeared to him like a woman on the other side of the river. Since there was no boat, R. Meir tried crossing on the planks holding a string stretched across the river. When he was halfway across, the Satan abandoned him.

1.This was because a voice from Heaven proclaimed not to harm him, for the world needs his Torah.

(e)R. Akiva used to scorn sinners. One day, the Satan appeared to him like a woman at the top of a date tree. R. Akiva started climbing. When he was halfway up, the Satan abandoned him.

1.This was because a voice from Heaven proclaimed not to harm him, for the world needs his Torah.

(f)Flimo used to taunt the Satan. One Erev Yom Kippur, the Satan appeared to him like a poor man at the door. Flimo gave to him bread. The man asked to eat with him; Flimo agreed. The man was covered with boils, and was doing disgusting things. Flimo asked him to sit nicely.

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(g)The man asked for a cup of wine; he spit into it. Flimo showed anger; the man appeared to die. Flimo heard people saying 'Flimo killed a man'; he fled to a privy. The Satan saw that Flimo was suffering; and he revealed himself.

1.The Satan: Why did you always taunt me?

2.Flimo: How else should I distance myself from you?

3.The Satan: You should ask Hash-m to save you from me.

(h)Whenever R. Chiya bar Ashi would fall on his face in supplication, he would ask Hash-m to save him from the Yetzer Ra. Once, his wife heard this. She was surprised, for he had separated from her a long time ago due to old age.

(i)One day while he was learning outside, she disguised herself and passed in front of him repeatedly. He asked who she was. She said that she was Charusa (the town harlot). He asked to sin with her.

(j)When he returned home, he wanted to kill himself. His wife convinced him that it was her. Still he fasted the rest of his life, for he had intended to sin.

(k)(Beraisa): "Her husband annulled her vow, and Hash-m will forgive her" discusses a woman who intended to transgress her vow, unaware that her husband annulled it.

1.R. Akiva would cry over this verse. One who intended to sin, and did not sin, needs atonement and forgiveness, and how much the more so, one who intended to sin and sinned!

(l)(Isi ben Yehudah): "He did not know, and transgressed; he will bear his sin" should make everyone fear!

3)WITH WHOM IS SECLUSION PERMITTED?

(a)(Mishnah): A man may be secluded with his mother.

(b)(Rav Yehudah): A man may be secluded with his sister. He may live with his mother or daughter.

(c)(Shmuel): One may not be secluded with any forbidden woman, and not even with an animal.

(d)Question (Mishnah): A male may be secluded with his mother or daughter. He may sleep with them without clothes.

1.This refutes Shmuel!

2.Counter-question (Shmuel - Beraisa): A man may be secluded with his sister, mother-in-law, or any Ervah, only if witnesses are there.

(e)Answer to both questions: We must say that Tana'im argue about seclusion with relatives.

1.(Beraisa): R. Meir would not be secluded with his daughter. R. Tarfon would not be secluded with his daughter-in-law.

2.A Talmid mocked R. Tarfon for this. Shortly after this, the Talmid sinned with his mother-in-law.

(f)(Shmuel): One may not be secluded even with an animal.

(g)Abaye and Rav Sheshes were careful not to be alone (some say - not to let a shepherd be alone) with animals.

(h)R. Chanan asked Rav Kahana why he was learning with no people around, only an animal.

1.Rav Kahana: I hold like Shmuel. I didn't notice (that I was secluded with an animal).

(i)(Rava): A man may be secluded with Leah and Sarah in any of the following situations:

1.They are married to brothers, or to the same man;

2.Leah is Sarah's mother-in-law, or her step-mother (Bach - or her husband's sister). (Such women are prone to hate each other. If one sinned, the other would publicize it);

3.Leah is old enough to understand what Bi'ah is, but not old enough to consent to Bi'ah.

4)AT WHAT AGE ARE WE CONSIDERED FOR CHILDREN?

(a)(Mishnah): When they grow up, they must sleep in their clothes.

(b)Question: What is considered grown up?

(c)Version #1 (Rav Ada bar Rav Aza): For a girl, it is above nine. For a boy, it is above 12.

(d)Version #2: For a girl, it is above 12. For a boy, it is above 13.

1.Regarding both of these, we are concerned only if there are breasts and (pubic) hairs. (Rashi - both versions are concerned if she brought Simanei Na'arus; Version #1 is concerned for Simanim from the age of nine. Tosfos Rid - this teaching refers to Version #2 only. We are concerned for a girl only if she has breasts, and for a boy only if he has hairs.)

(e)(Rafram bar Papa): If a girl is embarrassed to stand naked in front of her father, it is forbidden even before this age, for this shows that the Yetzer Ra tempts her.

(f)Rav Acha bar Aba visited Rav Chisda (his son-in-law). Rav Acha put his granddaughter in his lap (Tosfos Rid, Ran; Tosfos Ri ha'Zaken, Rosh - he put her under the sheet, to sleep with her without clothes).

1.Rav Chisda: She is Mekudeshes!

2.Rav Acha: You transgressed Rav, who says that a man should not be Mekadesh his daughter until she matures, and knows whom she wants to marry!

3.Rav Chisda: You transgressed Shmuel, who says that we do not use a woman!

4.Rav Acha: I hold like another teaching of Shmuel, who permits what is done l'Shem Shamayim (e.g. to show my daughter that I cherish her daughter).

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