Rebbi Eliezer says that the Chacham may ask if he would have made the Neder knowing that it would cause disgrace to his father and mother. (1)
Rebbi Tzadok says that according to Rebbi Eliezer the Chacham may ask if he would have made the Neder if he knew that it is a dishonor to Hashem.
The Chachamim say that even Rebbi Eliezer agrees that the Chacham may not ask if he would have made the Neder if he knew that it was a dishonor to Hashem Yisbarach. (2)
If someone makes a Neder prohibiting his father from benefiting from him the Chachamim agree with Rebbi Eliezer that the Chacham may ask if he would have made the Neder if he knew that it would cause disgrace to his father and mother.
Rebbi Eliezer holds that the Chacham may release someone from his Neder on the basis of Nolad but the Chachamim disagree. (3)
Rava says that if the Chacham would release someone from his Neder based on the fact that it was a dishonor to Hashem Yisbarach a person will no longer go to a Chacham and instead will release his own Nedarim. (4)
Moshe Rabeinu's Shevu'ah to Yisro not to return to Mitzrayim was released by Hashem Yisbarach on the basis that Dasan and Aviram died. (5)
Anytime it says Nitzim or Nitzavim in the Pasuk it is referring to Dasan and Aviram.
The Chachamim hold that Dasan and Aviram did not die rather they became impoverished. (6)
A poor person, a Metzora, a blind person and a childless person are regarded as if they are dead.
A BIT MORE
1. The Chachamim disagree because a person would be reluctant to admit that he would have made the Neder in spite of the fact that it causes disgrace to his father and mother or because it is a Pesach that applies to every Neder and a person may end up releasing his own Nedarim.
2. If we would allow the Chacham to release a person from his Neder on this basis there would be no more Nedarim because a person would never admit that he would have made a Neder in spite of the fact that it is dishonorable to Hashem Yisbarach.
3. Nolad is something that could not have been anticipated at the time of the Neder, such as the person who he prohibited Hana'ah from became a Sofer or was marrying off his son, or a house that he prohibited Hana'ah from became a Shul.
4. Since the reason that a Neder is a dishonor to Hashem Yisbarach applies to all Nedarim a person will think that he can release himself from his own Nedarim based on this reason without even going to the Chacham at all.
5. Rebbi Eliezer learns out from here that a Neder may be released on the basis of Nolad because the deaths of Dasan and Aviram could not have been anticipated.
6. Poverty is not Nolad because it is common that a person loses his money therefore the Chachamim hold that we cannot learn out from here that a Neder may be released on the basis of Nolad.
A COMMON NOLAD
The Chachamim hold that the Chacham may not release someone from his Neder on the basis of Nolad. However a Chacham may release a person on the basis of a Nolad that is a common occurrence because it is similar to a Neder Shogeg. However it is not exactly the same as a Neder Shogeg since the Nolad occurred only after the Neder was made therefore it is only permitted if it is released by a Chacham. (Beis Yosef in the name of the Ramban)
DISGACING ONE'S PARENTS
The Chacham may not use the Pesach of the honor of a father and mother. He may not ask if he would have made the Neder knowing that people will say to his parents look at the way you raised your children and how your children are reckless with Nedarim. The Chacham may not say this because no one has the Chutzpah to say that he would have made the Neder in spite of this. For this reason a Chacham may also not ask if he would have made the Neder knowing that it is a disgrace to his Rebbi. (Shulchan Aruch YD 228:11)