KESUVOS 4 (17 Shevat) - Dedicated by Mrs. Idelle Rudman in memory of Harav Reuven Moshe Rudman ben Harav Yosef Tuvia Rudman, who passed away 17 Shevat 5766, in honor of his ninth Yahrzeit.

[4a - 34 lines; 4b - 37 lines]

1)[line 1]בעילת מצוהBE'ILAS MITZVAH- the first relations of a married couple. These are termed "Be'ilas Mitzvah" since (a) they strengthen the marriage bond, as a woman forges a covenant only with he who first has relations with her; and (b) they enable the Mitzvah of procreation (TOSFOS DH Be'ilas).

2)[line 1]שבעת ימי המשתהSHIV'AS YEMEI HA'MISHTEH- the seven days of feasting; i.e., the seven days of Sheva Berachos [which follow a wedding and are akin to a private festival for the groom and bride, which is why they defer the mourning period (see also Insights)]

3)[line 2]שבעת ימי אבילותSHIV'AS YEMEI AVEILUS - The Seven-Day Mourning Period

(a)One who loses his father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, or spouse is obligated to bury his dead relative and then observe specific laws of mourning. Until the burial, one has the status of an Onen (see Background to Yoma 13:23). After the burial, his status changes to that of an Avel.

(b)For the following twelve months, an Avel may not buy new clothing nor attend weddings or other celebrations. For the first thirty days, in addition to these restrictions, he may not receive a haircut nor iron his clothing. Additionally, for the first seven days, he must refrain from bathing and washing his clothing.

4)[line 3]כל אותן הימיםKOL OSAN HA'YAMIM- all [fourteen] of those days [of festivity plus those of mourning]

5)[line 4]אין מונעין תכשיטיןEIN MON'IN TACHSHITIN- we do not withhold jewelry and makeup

6)[line 6]דליכא איניש דטרח להוD'LEIKA INISH D'TARACH LEHU- since there is [now] no one to toil on their behalf [in preparation of the meal in the case of the father of the groom, and in preparation of the bride's jewelry and makeup in the case of her mother]

7)[line 7]איפכאIFCHA- the opposite case [in which the mother of the groom or the father of the bride passed away immediately prior to the wedding]

8)[line 8]נתן מים על גבי בשרNASAN MAYIM AL GABEI BASAR- [the father of the groom] had [already] placed water upon the meat [as part of the preparatory process, in which case it will spoil more quickly]

9)[line 10]מזדבןMIZDABEN- it can sold [and the money recouped, thereby allowing the groom to hire another to prepare a wedding feast at a later date]

10a)[line 10]כרךKRACH- a city

b)[line 11]כפרKFAR- a village

11)[line 14]מתא מחסיאMASA MECHASYA- the town of Mechasya (probably a suburb of Sura)

12)[line 14]דמפקא מכרך ומפקא מכפרD'MAFKA MI'KRACH U'MAFKA MI'KFAR- which is not [as large as] a city and not [as small as] a village

13)[line 23]פירסה אשתו נדהPIRSA ISHTO NIDAH- see Background to 1:17

14)[line 29]במועדB'MO'ED- on a festival. This ruling of Rebbi Yochanan is not limited to festivals; it includes Shabbos as well as the private festival of a groom and bride during their week of Sheva Berachos.

15)[line 29]דברים של צינעאDEVARIM SHEL TZIN'A- private aspects [of mourning] (such as the prohibition against marital relations)

16)[line 30]ל''שLO SHANU- they did not teach [that a couple who are prohibited from having relations are not allowed to be secluded together]

17)[line 33]כי קאמרKI KA'AMAR- when [Rava] said [seclusion is permitted once they have had relations once]


18)[line 3]למימראL'MEIMRA- this is to say; this implies

19)[line 3]קילא ליהKILA LEI- he views less stringently

20)[line 6]ממזיגת הכוסMEZIGAS HA'KOS- diluting a cup [of wine with water and serving it to him]

21)[line 6]הצעת המטהHATZA'AS HA'MITAH- arranging the bed [in the manner of a devoted wife]

22)[line 7]הרחצתHARCHATZAS- the washing of

23)[line 8]רשאיRASHAI- permitted

24)[line 9]לכוףLA'CHUF- lit. to coerce; to impose upon

25a)[line 9]כוחלתKOCHELES- applying Kechol (a blue-tinted powder with medicinal properties) around her eyes

b)[line 9]פוקסתPOKESES- (a) parting her hair (RASHI); (b) applying a red-tinted mud to her face (RASHI to Mo'ed Katan 9b DH Pokeses; see also TOSFOS DH Pokeses); (c) reddening her face through first applying a sticky dough and then peeling it off (RASHI to Shabbos 94b)

26)[line 10]באמת אמרוBE'EMES AMRU- lit. in truth they said; it is an accepted Halachah. The Yerushalmi (Shabbos 1:3) states that this term means "the following Halachah is a Halachah l'Moshe mi'Sinai." A Halachah l'Moshe mi'Sinai is a tradition handed down to us from Moshe Rabeinu, who received it from HaSh-m on Har Sinai; it has the status of a Biblical ruling. The Rambam implies in the introduction to his commentary on the Mishnah, however, that this holds true only when it is used in a Mishnah (as opposed to a Beraisa, as is the case in our Gemara). Rashi (to Sukah 38a DH be'Emes Amru) writes that the Yerushalmi's interpretation of "be'Emes Amru" holds true even when used in a Beraisa. Since our Beraisa is discussing Rabbinic enactments, it is possible that "be'Emes Amru" implies that the following ruling is as clearly correct as if it were a Halachah l'Moshe mi'Sinai (see also MAHARATZ CHAYOS to Beitzah 17a).

27a)[line 12]כאן באבילות דידיהKAN B'AVEILUS DIDEI- here [when they are not allowed to seclude themselves] refers to a case in which he is in mourning [and we are concerned that his passions may get the better of him]

b)[line 12]כאן באבילות דידהKAN B'AVEILUS DIDAH- here [when they are allowed to seclude themselves] refers to a case in which she is in mourning [and we may rely upon that which she will discourage him]

28)[line 13]כי קתני אשאראKI KATANI, A'SHA'ARA- when we learned [that these cases are similar] it was in reference to the other [rulings discussed in the Beraisa; namely, that the corpse is placed in a room while the wedding takes place etc.]

29)[line 14]מי שאני בין אבילות דידיה לאבילות דידה?U'MI SHANI BEIN AVEILUS DIDEI L'AVEILUS DIDAH?- do we indeed differentiate between his mourning and her mourning? [The following Beraisa does not seem to!]

30a)[line 15]חמיוCHAMIV- his father-in-law

b)[line 16]חמותוCHAMOSO- his mother-in-law

31)[line 17]כופה מטתוKOFEH MITASO- he should overturn his bed [as a sign of mourning (see Moed Katan 20a)]

32)[line 21]תניTENI- teach [as an addition to this Beraisa]

33)[line 24]מאי לאו עמו במטה!MAI LAV IMO B'MITAH!- does it not mean that [she may seclude herself] with him in his bed [and we are not concerned that they will have relations]? The phrases "Noheg Imah Aveilus" and "Noheges Imo Aveilus" that appear in the Beraisa seem to be superfluous. Our Gemara suggests that their purpose is to teach that the members of a couple may seclude themselves even when one of them is in mourning.

34)[line 25]באפה נהוג אבילותאB'APAH NEHOG AVEILUSA- in the presence of [your wife when she is in mourning] act as one in mourning

35)[line 27]מי קמדמית...?MI KA'MIDAMIS...?- [in truth, the members of a couple may seclude themselves even when either one of them is in mourning.] Can you compare...?

36)[line 37]אבילותא דעלמאAVEILUSA D'ALMA- a standard case of mourning

37)[line 29]לזלזולי ביהL'ZILZULEI BEI- to treat it lightly

38)[line 33]עד שיצא מפתח הביתAD SHE'YETZEI MI'FESACH HA'BAYIS- [the period of mourning does not begin] until [the corpse] leaves through the doorway of the house [in which it died]

39)[line 34]עד שיסתם הגוללAD SHE'YISASEM HA'GOLEL (GOLEL V'DOFEK - Items Involved with Human Burial whose Impure Status is Akin to that of a Corpse)

(a)A Golel and a Dofek are items directly involved with human burial. Their exact identity is the subject of a disagreement between the Rishonim:

1.A Golel is the wooden or stone slab that serves as a cover of a coffin, whereas "Dofek" is a term referring to the sides of the coffin (upon which the Golel "knocks" - "Dofek") (RASHI, TOSFOS to Sukah 23a DH v'Lo Golel, ARUCH Erech Gelal, OR ZARU'A 2:424).

2.A Golel is a Matzevah - a stone lain [horizontally] above a grave as a marker. Two smaller stones are placed at its foot and head. These are each called "Dofek" (RABEINU TAM, cited in Tosfos DH Ad she'Yisasem ha'Golel).

3.These terms refer to items used when people are interred in burial vaults (a hole dug into the side of a chamber) rather than graves. The large stone or log used to block the entrance to the vault is a Golel (as it must be "rolled" - "Niglal" - into place). The wedge used to keep the Golel in place is the Dofek. (OR ZARU'A 2:424, quoting Rabeini Moshe).

(b)Both the Golel and Dofek have the status of Avi Avos ha'Tum'ah, which is identical to that of the corpse itself. One who comes into contact with them (Maga) or is under the same roof that they are under (Ohel) becomes an Av ha'Tum'ah. Rebbi Eliezer maintains that one who carries them (Masa) becomes Tamei as well (Ohalos 2:4; see RASHASH to RASHI to Sukah 23a DH v'Lo Golel).

(c)According to Rebbi Yehoshua, Aveilus begins when the Golel is put into place. According to the opinion of Rabeinu Tam, when no stone is placed upon the grave immediately after burial, then the Aveilus begins when the marker denoting the location of the grave has been put into place.