ONE WHO REFUSES TO USE HIS MONEY OR THE TZIBUR'S [Tzedakah:improper demands]
If one says 'do not bury me from my property (rather, from Tzedakah)', we ignore his words. He cannot benefit his children by imposing on the Tzibur.
67b (Beraisa - R. Meir): If a person lacks and does not want to receive Tzedakah, we give to him for a loan, and later for a gift;
Chachamim say, we give him a gift, and later a loan.
Question: The case is that he will not take a gift!
Answer (Rava): We offer to him a gift.
(Beraisa - continuation): If he has money but refuses to spend it and starves himself because he wants to be supported by Tzedakah, we give him a gift and later collect it from him.
Question: If so, he will not take again!
Answer (Rav Papa): We collect it only after he dies.
(Beraisa - continuation - R. Shimon): We are not responsible for one who has money and will not spend it;
If he does not have and does not want to take, we say 'give to us a security and we will lend to you' to boost his pride.
(Beraisa - R. Yehudah): "Lend" teaches about one who lacks and does not want to receive Tzedakah. We give to him a loan, and later, a gift;
"You will lend to him" teaches about one who has, but will not spend it, because he wants to receive Tzedakah. We give to him for a gift, and collect from him after he dies;
Chachamim say, we are not responsible for such a person.
Sanhedrin 46b - Question: What is the reason for burial? Is it to avoid disgrace (of a rotting corpse), or for atonement?
If one asked not to be buried, if it is for atonement, since he does not want it, we honor his request.
Rif and Rosh (17b and 4:12): If one says 'do not bury me from my property', we ignore his words. He cannot benefit his children by imposing on the Tzibur.
Rif and Rosh (29b and 6:9): If a person lacks and does not want to receive Tzedakah, we give to him for a loan, and later for a gift. If one has money but wants to be supported by Tzedakah, R. Yehudah says that we give him a gift and later collect it from him after he dies. Chachamim say that we are not responsible for him.
Hagahos Ashri: We would collect it from him in his lifetime, if not for the concern lest he not take again. Rabbeinu Meir learned from here that if someone was captured by Nochrim, we redeem him from his money against his will.
Rambam (Hilchos Matanos Aniyim 7:9): If an Oni does not want to receive Tzedakah, we trick him and give to him for a gift or a loan. If a rich person is stingy with his money and starves himself, we are not responsible for him.
Rambam (Hilchos Zechiyah 11:24): If a Shechiv Mera (a sick person who fears lest he die) says 'do not bury me from my property', we do not heed his request to spare his children's money and impose on the Tzibur. It is forbidden to leave him unburied. Rather, we force the heirs to bury him from his property.
Question: The Rambam forbids leaving the Mes unburied. The Gemara (Sanhedrin 46) never resolved this!
Answer (Lechem Mishneh): It is a Safek whether or not the heirs are obligated. One must perform a Mitzvah when in doubt.
Note: Mahari Mintz (54, cited by R. Akiva Eiger YD 348:2) says that burial is a Torah obligation on the heirs. They are exempt only if burial is for Kaparah and the Mes asked not to be buried (at all, like the case in Sanhedrin), for then burial is not a Kaparah for him. The Rambam could agree. Here he discusses one who wanted to be buried from Tzedakah!
Shulchan Aruch (YD 253:9): If an Oni does not want to receive Tzedakah, we trick him and give to him for a gift or a loan.
Beis Yosef (DH Mi): R. Shimon holds that if one has no money and does not want to take, we request a security to boost his pride. Rashi explains that this makes him think that it is a loan, so he is not embarrassed. He says that he has no security to give, and we give to him without a security. The Tur (says that we give to him as if it is an honorable gift, not Tzedakah. If not, we lend to him. If not, we ask for a security, and do not collect from him later. This) is like Chachamim and like R. Shimon. We can say that they do not argue. R. Shimon discusses one who does not want a loan, for he suspects that it is Tzedakah. The Rambam says that we trick him and give to him for a gift or a loan. The distributors of Tzedakah decide in which way he is more willing to accept.
Hafla'ah (cited in Tziyunim in Frankel Rambam): The Rambam holds that we ask the recipient if he wants a gift or loan.
Shulchan Aruch (10): If a rich person is stingy with his money and starves himself, we are not responsible for him.
Shulchan Aruch (348:2): If one says 'do not bury me from my property', we do not heed him. Rather, we take from his heirs all needs of burial against his will. We do everything normally done for people of his family, including a rock on the grave. This is if they inherited money from their father.
Beis Yosef (DH u'Mah she'Chosav v'Hu): The Rosh (Sanhedrin 6:2) says that we force his heirs to do all needs of burial normally done for people of his family, including a rock for a monument. In a Teshuvah (13:18,19) he says that if the Mes gave much money to others and left little for his heirs, his heirs bury him. The recipients already merited; it is not money of the Mes.
Shach (5): If they did not inherit money, we do not force them. It is incumbent on everyone to bury him.
Gilyon Maharsha (DH v'Hu): This is only because he asked not to be buried. Otherwise, the heirs must bury him even if they did not inherit.
Note: The Shach comments on Sa'if 2, in which he said 'do not bury me from my property'.
Gilyon Maharsha (DH Ela): If he left only enough for a Kesuvah, his widow is not obligated to bury him. The Tzibur buries him.
Shulchan Aruch (3): Even if one without money said 'do not bury me', we do not heed him.
Shach (6): This is because it is a disgrace to the living.
Hagahos Tur ha'Shalem (1): Here, he requested not to be buried at all. He pardoned his honor, so we omit thing normally done for his family. We only bury him, which is for the honor of the living.
Shulchan Aruch (CM 253:17): If a Shechiv Mera said 'give only a Shekel to my children each week. If they die, others should inherit in place of them', even if they need more, we give to them only a Shekel.
SMA (38): What they need above a Shekel they receive from Tzedakah. We do not heed one who says 'do not bury me from my property'. There, the property is his (and after death he cannot change this). He cannot command not to use it in order to benefit his children. Here, the property does not belong to his children, rather, to the father. He could give it to anyone he wants, and force his children to beg!