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|NEDARIM 20 - Dedicated in memory of Max (Meir Menachem ben Shlomo ha'Levi) Turkel, by his children Eddie and Lawrence and his wife Jean Turkel/Rafalowicz. Max was a warm and loving husband and father and is missed dearly by his family and friends. His Yahrzeit is 5 Teves.|
If someone vows that something should be forbidden like a Cherem and he explains that he meant to vow on a Cherem of the sea if he is a Talmid Chacham he is believed.
If he is an Am ha'Aretz we do not believe him, according to R. Meir. (1)
R. Yehudah says that if a Nazir transgresses his Nezirus the Chacham shall not release him from his Neder until he keeps the Nezirus for the amount of time that he flouted it. (2)
R. Yosi says that a long term Nazir who transgressed his Nezirus only has to keep the Nezirus for 30 days even if he flouted the Nezirus for a very long time.
A person should not get in the habit of making Nedarim because it will cause him to eventually transgress Shevu'os.
A person should not frequent the presence of an Am ha'Aretz because he will eventually feed him Tevel. (3)
A person should not converse excessively with a woman because it will eventually lead to immorality.
Anyone who stares at women will eventually end up doing an Aveirah.
Embarrassment leads to fear of sin. (4)
It is forbidden to discuss anything at the time of Tashmish other than Mili d'Tashmish.
A person who drinks from one cup while thinking of another transgresses the prohibition of "Do not stray after your heart and after your eyes." (5)
A child who is born from one of the nine Midos may potentially be rebellious and a sinner. (6)
If a woman is Tovei'ah her husband the child that is born will be greater than even the children in the generation of Moshe Rabeinu. (7)
Four Nedarim are permitted: Nidrei Ziruzin, Nidrei Havai, Nidrei Shogegim and Nidrei Onsim.
If the seller vows that he will not sell for less than a Sela and the buyer vows that he will not buy for more than a Shekel (half of a Sela) it is Nidrei Ziruzin. (8)
A BIT MORE
1. We punish him if he flouted his Neder and we force him to keep the Neder for the amount of days that he flouted it. However the Chachamim argue with R. Meir and they hold that we do not punish him and his Neder is released with an expression of regret.
2. R. Acha Bar Yakov says that if a Beis Din does release him from the Nezirus before he keeps the Nezirus for the amount of time that he flouted it, the Beis Din is placed in Cherem.
3. A person should not frequent the presence of a Kohen Am ha'Aretz because he will eventually feed him Terumah.
4. Anyone who is [easily embarrassed] will not sin very quickly.
5. Even if they are both his wives.
6. The nine Midos are a child born from a union of fear, rape, spite, he is in Cherem, he thought she was a different wife, they were in the midst of an argument, drunkenness, he had decided to divorce her, or she also had relations with another man.
7. Just as Leah was Tovei'ah her husband Yakov and she merited giving birth to Yisachar as a result. However a wife may not be Tovei'ah her husband verbally.
8. Both the seller and buyer have in mind that they want to close the deal at three Dinarim and they only vowed not to pay more than a Shekel or sell for less than a Dinar in order to encourage the other side to be more flexible.
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