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12TH CYCLE DEDICATION
NEDARIM 20 - Dedicated in memory of Max (Meir Menachem ben Shlomo ha'Levi) Turkel, by his children Eddie and Lawrence and his wife Jean Turkel/Rafalowicz. Max was a warm and loving husband and father and is missed dearly by his family and friends. His Yahrzeit is 5 Teves.
If someone vows that something should be forbidden like a Cherem and he explains that he meant to vow on a Cherem of the sea if he is a Talmid Chacham he is believed.
If he is an Am ha'Aretz we do not believe him, according to Rebbi Meir. (1)
Rebbi Yehudah says that if a Nazir transgresses his Nezirus the Chacham shall not release him from his Neder until he keeps the Nezirus for the amount of time that he flouted it. (2)
Rebbi Yosi says that a long term Nazir who transgressed his Nezirus only has to keep the Nezirus for 30 days even if he flouted the Nezirus for a very long time.
A person should not get in the habit of making Nedarim because it will cause him to eventually transgress Shevu'os.
A person should not frequent the presence of an Am ha'Aretz because he will eventually feed him Tevel. (3)
A person should not converse excessively with a woman because it will eventually lead to immorality.
Anyone who stares at women will eventually end up doing an Aveirah.
Embarrassment leads to fear of sin. (4)
It is forbidden to discuss anything at the time of Tashmish other than Mili d'Tashmish.
A person who drinks from one cup while thinking of another transgresses the prohibition of "Do not stray after your heart and after your eyes." (5)
A child who is born from one of the nine Midos may potentially be rebellious and a sinner. (6)
If a woman is Tovei'ah her husband the child that is born will be greater than even the children in the generation of Moshe Rabeinu. (7)
Four Nedarim are permitted: Nidrei Ziruzin, Nidrei Havai, Nidrei Shogegim and Nidrei Onsim.
If the seller vows that he will not sell for less than a Sela and the buyer vows that he will not buy for more than a Shekel (half of a Sela) it is Nidrei Ziruzin. (8)
A BIT MORE
1. We punish him if he flouted his Neder and we force him to keep the Neder for the amount of days that he flouted it. However the Chachamim argue with Rebbi Meir and they hold that we do not punish him and his Neder is released with an expression of regret.
2. Rebbi Acha Bar Yakov says that if a Beis Din does release him from the Nezirus before he keeps the Nezirus for the amount of time that he flouted it, the Beis Din is placed in Cherem.
3. A person should not frequent the presence of a Kohen Am ha'Aretz because he will eventually feed him Terumah.
4. Anyone who is [easily embarrassed] will not sin very quickly.
5. Even if they are both his wives.
6. The nine Midos are a child born from a union of fear, rape, spite, he is in Cherem, he thought she was a different wife, they were in the midst of an argument, drunkenness, he had decided to divorce her, or she also had relations with another man.
7. Just as Leah was Tovei'ah her husband Yakov and she merited giving birth to Yisachar as a result. However a wife may not be Tovei'ah her husband verbally.
8. Both the seller and buyer have in mind that they want to close the deal at three Dinarim and they only vowed not to pay more than a Shekel or sell for less than a Dinar in order to encourage the other side to be more flexible.
If a woman is Tovei'ah her husband the child that is born will be greater than even the children that were born in the generation of Moshe Rabeinu. In the generation of Moshe Rabeinu they were not able to find people who were Navonim, while a woman who is Tovei'ah her husband will merit children who are Navonim. Rashi in Chumash says that a Navon is analogous to a moneychanger who also acts as a merchant and is in the habit of searching for business opportunities. Based on that the Keren Orah explains that the characteristic of a Navon is to search for opportunities to do Mitzvos and that it was the characteristic of Leah Imeinu to search for Mitzvos.
Someone who vows to be a Nazir and thought that the Neder was not valid and he drank wine and after a time he asked a Chacham who instructed him that it was a valid Neder, he starts counting his Nezirus retroactively from the day that he made the Neder to be a Nazir. The Chachamim decreed that he must keep the Nezirus for the amount of time that he flouted it. What is the case? If the Neder was to be a Nazir for thirty days and he flouted the Nezirus for 10 days and kept the Nezirus for 20 days and after thirty days he went to the Chacham, he must keep an extra 10 days of Nezirus and if he drinks wine during those 10 days he is punished with Makos Mardus. However this only applies to a short term Nezirus; if his vow was for a long term Nezirus he only has to keep an extra 30 days even if he flouted the Nezirus for years. (Rambam Hilchos Nezirus 4: 13,14,15)
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