THE
KEDOSHIM OF HAR NOF
An article by Rebbetzin
Chayah Tavin
Lecturer in She'arim, Har Nof
We heard the
ambulances. We heard there was a terrorist attack. Then we heard it was at our shul down the road. We got a phone call from Chaya Levine asking my husband to please look at the shul next door to see if Rav Kalman
was there. My husband had dovened neitz
with him just a short time ago. Rav Kalman gave him a
hearty “yashar koach” for
his duchening, and went back to learn. My husband came
home to get Binyomin Dovid
ready for the school bus. You see Tuesday morning is Abba day- BinyominDovid looks forward to Tuesday morning all
week-.maybe because Abba puts ketchup on the cheese sandwich- or puts more
pretzels in the bag than Ima does, or more salt on
the salad. Or maybe because he so loves his Abba and their special morning
together. And because Tuesday is their special day,my husband dovens at the neitz minyon next to our house, instead
of his regular minyon in Kehillas
Bnei Torah. My husband might have gone to his regular
minyon anyway. Since he was often the only Kohen, on Tuesdays he would pop in for chazaras
hashatz just to duchen for
them. The carnage occurred during chazaras HaShatz. But Hashem had other
plans for my husband. A few months ago a
member of the shul, a Kohen,
became an avel-a mourner- and he asked my
husband if he could be the regular ba'al tefila. This Tuesday my husband did not go back to duchen, because he knew there would be a Kohen in his minyon. So
after neitz at HaGra, he
came home from shul. But Kalman-
where was Kalman? My husband went back to HaGra to look for him. But he had left. Kalman
had gone toRav Rubin’s shul
to ask the Rav a question. And Kalman did not come
home.
We heard names- we
heard rumors- we didn’t want to believe they were true. Rav Moshe Twersky - the kind talmid chacham who always made time for those who came to him for
guidance and halachic advice, and then taught and
learned until late at night. He was the one to whom my husband would turn with
questions that came up in the minyon. It was Rav
Moshe who said at his son’s aufruf that this minyon was like mishpacha. We had
lost a family member.
R’ Aryeh Kupinski. R’Aryeh? No - not R’ Aryeh? Haven’t they suffered enough? When his
daughter Chaya died suddenly in her sleep he was mekabel the din with pure deep faith- and went on to be mechazek others. R’ Aryeh
- always running to help others, always a smile on his face - despite constant
challenges. R’ Aryeh was the one who yelled “you run, I’ll
fight” using a chair against a gun and a
hatchet to buy time so that others could flee. The ultimate chesed.
The names to doven. Shmuel Yerucham ben Baila. ChaimYechiel ben Malka.
Eitan ben Sarah. Yitzchak ben Chaya. All still in
need of tremendous Rachmei Shamayim.
Please continue to storm the gates of rachamim on
their behalf. Avraham Shmuel benSheina.
Then the rumors turned to agonizing truth - Avraham Shmuel ben Aharon hy”d.
Mr Goldberg. That nice warm
smiley gentleman who loved Torah and Torah scholars and every single Jew.
Who learned every morning and only then went to work.My
husband would set up a shtender for Mr. Goldberg and
he in turn would lay out a siddur for RavTwersky. That was the kind of minyon
it was. It can’t be. But it was.
What
about Rav Kalman? We still didn’t know for sure –
rumors flying- but Rav Kalman was the most alive
person in the world. He was the reason many people came to our shul on Simchas Torah - to see
Rav Kalman’s ecstatic dancing with his beloved
Torah. We should have known if he didn’t
come home and didn’t call something was terribly wrong. But we couldn’t believe
it could be. And then we heard. The brutal animals shot as they yelled out
their vicious war cry. They butchered Rav Kalman as
he stood in the hallway absorbed in a sefer-those few
seconds gave some of the men in the minyon time to
flee out another door. Rav Kalman’s last act of ahavas Yisroel was to save the life of his friends.
And
now- Rav Mosheäé"ã,
Rav Aryeh äé"ã, Rav Avraham äé"ã, Rav Kalmanäé"ã are
in the Beis Medrash shel maalah- with their beloved Torah.
Between
the hope and the tears we spoke. “Chaya, do you
remember….”.Binyomin Dovid
was a sickly baby with Down syndrome and a host of medical issues and I needed chizuk. I made my way to BneiBrak
to see Rebbetzin Kanievsky. I waited outside until it was my turn. I came
in to her- a sleeping baby in my arms. Rebbetzin Kanievsky took one look at him and said “you don’t know
what shmira (protection) you havein
your home”. I thought I understood. Perhaps, I thought, other things would be
easier because this would be difficult. But now, almost 13 years later, I
understand. BD was the only reason my husband was not in his minyon that morning. And because he knew my husband wasn’t
coming, his post dovening chevrusa-
a stalwart regular in that minyon, decided to doven elsewhere that morning. We could not have imagined so many years ago
that our son would save his father’s life and the life of his chavrusa.
The
stories abound. Those who were saved-Rav E- an elderly gentleman who takes a
cab the half a block each morning- but THIS morning the cab didn’t come. Rabbi
L was on his way to that minyon and for some reason
he cannot explain, found himself turning into a closer
shul, and stayed there. A. was up during the night
helping his wife who felt unwell, so he decided to doven
elsewhere. R’ S who smashed a terrorist over the head twice with a chair to try
to stop his shooting, and somehow managed to run out unscathed. Rav P, Reb B, RavPr and Rav F who
somehow ran through the line of fire out the door.Rav
S who was hiding behind the bima until something told
him to get out- and he managed to run through the side door. Rav I saw one of the terrorists in the kitchen
on his way in earlier. He thought he was one of the many who come into the shul to take a free cup of coffee in the morning. Why
didn’t he shoot him then? He escaped through a side door when the shooting
started in the shul. Dr. H and Rav
W. who ran out after throwing a table at the terrorists. HaRav B, who is not a young man, heard the commotion and
came downstairs. As he was trying to help one of the victims, he was shot
repeatedly by the terrorists- but the guns misfired four times. When they
pulled out a knife he ran upstairs. An old man out-running
two young terrorists?
And
there were those who were not saved. Rav Kalman
regularly dovens shacharis
elsewhere and only came to ask a question of a Rav whom he didn’t know was not
yet there. Rav Aryeh came perhaps once or twice a
month to that minyon.
The first chovesh (paramedic) who appeared at
the scene always carries a gun- but he left it at home that morning. One thing
was clear-it appeared random- but
it is only random in the eyes of the world- we have to know that it is exacting
in the eyes of Hashem, and that while we cannot
possibly understand the equation we know it is the Truth.
To us, it is clear that the world is run with
exactitude- and that this brutal butchering of innocent souls had purpose and
meaning. We must focus inward- -avoiding politics and rage. We must focus our
energy inward by asking what each of us can do better than before. That is the
Jewish response.
Wednesday morning my husband dovened in his minyon. He set out
no shtender, laid out no siddur.
R’ Chaim, fighting for his life, was not there to
call out “kohanim”.
Rav Moshe was not be there today to lein. He will not ask for an Aliyah
for his grandmother’s yahrtzeit R”H Teves. My husband took out his gabbai
book and added äé"ã to four names.
As Rav Rubin said at the levaya,
we must strengthen ourselves in Emuna. We must
internalize the knowledge that nothing is by chance, nothing is without purpose
and meaning
We must strive in some small way to emulate the
kedoshim- so different on the surface but so very
much the same-each a true lover of Torah and Talmidei
chachamim, each a true lover of his fellow Jew, each
a ba’al chesed, each a man
with true simchas hachaim.
Each of us must look inward; ask “what can I rectify?” Each one of us must make
some small yet powerful change.
The family of the kedoshim
asked those who came to the shiva to please take on
something for Am Yisrael. This is derech HaTorah. This will give nechama
to the widows, the orphans. This will be a z’chus for
a refuah for the injured.
And we can pray, that this will be the final
chapter in the long and painful history of golus- and
this will bring the Geula' bi'mheyra bi'yameinu