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BAVA METZIA 59

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SUMMARY

It is better to have relations with a Safek Eshes Ish than to embarrass a person publicly.
 
Someone who embarrasses his friend publicly does not have a share in the world to come.
 
It is better to fall into a fiery furnace than to embarrass a person publicly. (1)
 
A person should be very careful not to hurt his wife with words because a woman is liable to cry and consequently he will be punished quicker.
 
From the day the Beis ha'Mikdash was destroyed the gates of Tefilah are locked, however the gates of tears remain unlocked.
 
A person who follows the advice of his wife will fall into Gehinom; however with regards to household decision a person shall heed the advice of his wife. (2)
 
All of the gates are closed with the exception of the gates of Ona'ah and all sins are punished by way of Shali'ach with the exception of Ona'ah.
 
A person shall be careful to have sufficient grain in his house because domestic disputes are often a result of insufficient grain.
 
A person shall be careful to honor his wife properly because blessing is found in a house only because of the wife.
 
If an earthenware oven is made from circles of earthenware with sand in between one circle and another, according to R. Eliezer it is not susceptible to Tum'ah while the Chachamim disagree. (3)
 
R. Eliezer brought all of the proofs in the world and they were not accepted by the Chachamim.
 
R. Eliezer said if I am correct the it shall be proven from heaven and a Bas Kol rang out that the Halachah is like R. Eliezer in every place
 
R. Yehoshua said that we pay no heed to the Bas Kol because the Torah states that we follow the majority.
 
On that day they brought all of the Taharos that R. Eliezer was Metaher and they burned them and they placed R. Eliezer in Cherem in order to alleviate the Machlokes
 
A person who causes Ona'ah to a Ger or oppresses a Ger transgresses three prohibitions.
 
The Torah warns us about the treatment of Gerim thirty six times or forty six times..
 
A person should not use words in his speech that are a reminder of his own flaws.

A BIT MORE

1. This is learned out from Tamar who did not say outright that her children are from Yehudah because she didn't want to embarrass him even though she was being taken out to be burned.
 
2. According to the second Lashon a person shall not follow his wife's advice regarding spiritual matter but regarding other matters he shall heed the advice of his wife.
 
3. R. Eliezer holds that it is not regarded as an earthenware utensil since there is sand in between and rather it has a Din of utensil made out of dung or dirt which is not susceptible to Tum'ah.

BRIEF INSIGHT

GATES OF ONA'AH
 
All of the gates are closed with the exception of the gates of Ona'ah and all sins a punished by way of Shali'ach with the exception of Ona'ah. What is the difference if a person is punished by way of a Shali'ach or by Hashem Yisbarach? Rabeinu Yehonasan explains that a Shali'ach is sometimes on the other side of the world and will not arrive immediately as the Gemara states that some angels do not fly from place to place at one time and they need to stop three or four times, or sometimes the Shali'ach has a full slate of missions to carry out which he must carry out in order and consequently the punishment doesn't arrive as fast. However, when it comes to Ona'ah Hashem Yisbarach punishes Himself and therefore the person is punished immediately.

QUICK HALACHAH

THE PROHIBITION OF ONA'AH
 
One must be very careful not to cause Ona'ah to his wife because her tears are frequent. (Shulchan Aruch CM 228:3)
 
Because a woman is naturally very soft and as a result of just a little bit of pain she cries and Hashem Yisbarach is Makpid on the tears because the gate of tears is never closed. (Sma)

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